Navigating the complexities of co-parenting after a divorce or separation can be a daunting task. Our recent survey of 1,000 individuals in the UK who’ve experienced the end of a long-term relationship reveals the most pressing concerns faced by co-parents today.
The findings highlight significant differences in parenting styles, communication issues, and financial disputes, among other challenges.
Communication breakdown and parenting styles
One of the most striking revelations from the survey is the struggle with differing parenting styles. Nearly a third of respondents (30%) identified this as a major issue. The challenge of maintaining a consistent approach to parenting when each parent has their own methods and beliefs can create tension and confusion for the children involved.
Communication, another critical aspect of co-parenting, was cited as a concern by 28% of participants. Effective communication is essential for coordinating schedules, discussing the children’s needs, and making joint decisions. However, the emotional baggage from the past relationship often complicates these interactions.
Introducing new partners and financial disputes
Introducing a new partner into the family dynamic is another significant concern, with 27% of respondents expressing anxiety over this issue. The introduction of a new partner can be a sensitive topic, potentially leading to feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and confusion for the children.
Financial issues also rank high on the list of co-parenting challenges. 24% of respondents reported that their former partner doesn’t contribute fairly to the children’s expenses. This financial strain can exacerbate existing tensions and create additional stress for the primary caregiver.
Discipline and other concerns
Discipline is another area where co-parents often clash. 21% of respondents believe their co-parent is too lenient, which can undermine efforts to maintain consistent rules and boundaries for the children.
Interestingly, the survey also uncovered gender differences in co-parenting concerns. Women are more likely to worry about their ex-partner not paying their fair share (34% of female respondents vs. 13% of male respondents). Additionally, more women than men are concerned about the other parent not spending enough time with the children (24% vs. 8%).
Lesser-known issues
While the major concerns dominate the conversation, the survey also identified other, less frequently mentioned issues. These include disagreements over which school or nursery the children should attend, which friends they’re allowed to see, and even what clothes they should wear.
A glimpse into co-parenting realities
Only 17% of respondents reported having no concerns with co-parenting, highlighting that the majority of co-parents face significant challenges. These findings provide valuable insights into the realities of co-parenting and underscore the importance of support systems and resources to help parents navigate these difficulties.
As co-parents strive to provide the best possible environment for their children, understanding and addressing these common concerns can lead to more harmonious and effective co-parenting relationships.
Resolving disputes
Where parents do have issues that they can’t resolve themselves, UK judges are increasing seeking couples try alternative dispute methods before formal legal action. Mediation and arbitration are common ways to try to form an agreement and it can be cheaper to resolve issues privately rather than going through the courts.
Find out more about mediation
Guides and resources
Life after divorce podcast - Making co-parenting work for your family
Watch our special Life After Divorce podcast series with the first episode seeing experts discussing co-parenting and how to overcome any issues.
The podcast features experts from the firm as well as Marcie Shaoul, coach and founder of The Co-Parent Way.
Talking to your ex-partner
After a divorce your emotions will be high, and you might not want to speak to your ex-partner. However, having an open dialogue with them can be beneficial as you sort out things such as finances and child arrangements.
Our guide on talking to your ex-partner offers some useful tips on how you can better communicate with them after your divorce.
Talking to your children
It's also important you have good communication with your children. During this time, they're likely to be stressed and confused given all the changes happening around them.
Our guide on talking to your children gives you pointers on how to reassure and comfort your children during this time.
The research was conducted by Censuswide, among a sample of 1000 18+ divorcees/people separated from a long-term partner (5+ year relationship). The data was collected between 20/09/24 and 24/09/24.
