Harmonising Holidays: Strategies for Co-Parenting Success
The summer holidays can be an exciting time for children but can be met with difficulties for separated parents. Tensions can be heightened where parents have different preferences or expectations, or where they feel uncertain about their rights and responsibilities. However, with open communication and thoughtful strategies, this can ensure a smoother experience for everyone involved.
As with all arrangements for children, parents are encouraged to try and agree matters between them for the upcoming summer school holidays. They can do so by discussing plans directly if they feel comfortable in doing so, or in situations where the relationship is not amicable, they can engage in negotiations through solicitors or in the mediation process.
Below are some top tips on how to plan for upcoming holidays as effective co-parents, whilst keeping the children’s best interests in mind:
Openly communicate plans before setting them in stone
When and who the children should spend time with may already be decided if there is a Child Arrangements Order in place. In the absence of an Order, it is crucial that both parties not only communicate transparently from the outset, but also approach the situation with flexibility and respect around each other’s existing plans. If there are birthdays or special occasions during the summer, you should consider having a conversation surrounding any proposed holiday plans in advance so that there is enough time to iron out any concerns.
Use technology
Once arrangements have been put in place for the summer school holidays, it is useful to consider recording these so that it is clear as to what was agreed. A shared online calendar is one way to record summer schedules, through the likes of Google Calendar, or there are several apps designed specifically for co-parenting which can provide a neutral platform for communication.
Be transparent about any organised trips and obtain consent in advance
It is important to be transparent with the other parent about any upcoming trips, whether this be in the UK or abroad. It is advisable to let the other parent have details of the holiday destination, accommodation details, any flight numbers/times, and when the trip will take place. If you are travelling abroad with the children, it is good practice to obtain written consent from the other parent.
Share the responsibility and involve the other parent
Preparation for the upcoming holiday does not have to fall solely on the one parent taking the children. Aside from admin such as flights and accommodation, both parents can actively take part in getting ready such as researching activities and going shopping. This also provides scope for both parents to regularly and amicably communicate in a way that is child-focused. It is also likely that in the future, if the other parent makes holiday plans with the children, they are more likely to get you involved and ultimately benefit the children. Both parents will also then have the opportunity to encourage the children and ensure they look forward to the holiday.
Maintain the status quo during the holiday
Children will most likely be used to a set routine during term time when it comes to spending time with their parents, especially if there has been a working parenting plan or a Child Arrangements Order in place. So it may be useful to find ways to replicate this as close as possible to the existing arrangements whilst on holiday, whether that be morning texts at a set time or video calls after dinner. This can be helpful especially if the children are young or if it is their first time going away for more days than they are used to or going abroad, where they may initially find a new environment and structure unsettling. It is important to know what works for the children and to be flexible to accommodate this on both sides.
Remember, effective co-parenting creates positive holiday experiences for your children.
If you wish to seek advice regarding summer school holiday arrangements, or any other family matters, please contact our family team on 0370 1500 100, or contact us online and we will get back to you as soon as possible.
